Good Emotional Health

posted in: Life | 2

I watch and observe more than I react and speak.  As a writer in the social network culture, this is probably the antithesis to many others.  In fact, I think it is true.  I follow a lot of other writers on social media and I often get a clear idea of where they stand on a number of issues.  I don’t fault them whether I agree or disagree.  It’s their platform and their voice.  I hate the “stick to (fill in the blank)” attacks people get from detractors.  It’s kind of a juvenile response if you think about it.

For myself, I try to keep any views I have on specific issues regarding religion, politics, social issues, etc. off of my social media timeline.  This is just a personal choice.  I believe those things should be discussed in a safe place setting where both parties can respectfully engage in productive conversation.  If we know anything about the current climate of social media, those conditions do not exist.

I have delved into some of these topics here on my blog where you can read my thoughts and struggles as I try to understand and come to a rational place that best fits my experience and convictions.  There are some areas where I stand firm and others where I am not quite sure.

Something I know I need to be always aware of is my emotional state.  I’s so easy to get angry and react when coming across something that I think is unjust or a horrifying display of humanity.  You could ask my wife (she gets to hear the unprocessed sputterings when I’m annoyed or ticked off at the world).  These are not everyday occurrences but they do happen.

Emotional health is key and very important to me.  I hate being reactionary based on my feelings when disturbed by others.  Too often I see people speaking and arguing based on their feelings.  I would suggest not engaging these people in the first place (especially on social media).  They cannot be rationalized with.  When our emotions are turned up to eleven, you’ll have better luck convincing a dog it’s a cat.

Also, I just believe you are generally more approachable in life if you are known as someone who has a grip on your emotions.  I would never want my family or friends to tiptoe around or avoid me if they feel like they can’t talk to me about the harder topics of life for fear of me popping a gasket.

So if you don’t see me addressing hot social topics on any of my social media profiles, it’s not because I don’t have opinions or concerns, it’s because I don’t think that’s the platform to have honest, safe discourse.  I can always be private messaged and you’ll get an honest, direct response if you want to know what I think or where I stand on something.

Call to Action: Let’s all practice emotional health.  Slow to react and not letting our feelings drive us to speak in anger.  Remember also that your opinions are your own.  If someone disagrees with you, it doesn’t mean they’re the enemy.  Common decency is something I’d love to see returned to our rhetoric and discourse.

No Resolute Absolute

posted in: Writing | 0

2017 is here!  I’m thirty-two and cannot for the life of me understand how I feel the same as I did when I was in my younger twenties.  Sure, I’m more refined and mature than when I was skipping class at the local community college and putting myself on academic probation but I truly feel amazing and look forward to this new year!

Goals and plans.  That’s what I want to discuss and sort of put my hands into for today’s post like a wet clay that needs molding.  It’s truly easy to lose track of the year and let it moan by while I simply give it a jaunty wave and then I’ve got 2018’s starting line ahead of me.

As a writer, I absolutely believe in setting goals–believable goals.  I’ve learned since my early days not to say some nonsense like, “I will get an agent and get a six-book deal with TOR by the end of this year.”  Not a healthy goal.  However, if TOR somehow comes across this post and gets their hands on the manuscript for book one of the Ravanguard series, I am available to discuss and negotiate the contract today.  If not, then I’ll go back to my realistic, healthy goals.

This website is finished and in it’s infancy.  That’s a 2016 goal that has come to pass.  I’ve given the first Ravanguard novella to multiple beta readers and even received some very valuable feedback.  That’s a goal met!  Huzzah hooray!  For 2017, I need to establish some new goals.  Hopefully by placing them here, I’ve got all of you to help me and keep me accountable.  If we’re fast approaching December 2017 and I’ve done nothing but entertain all of you with this blog, then I fully expect and invite some hyper-encouraging comments to kick me into gear.

What are my goals for this new year?  It’s truly simple.  Release the finished first novella of the Ravanguard series to all of you in e-reader format for free.  Now this is something that could happen quickly.  It all depends on how much feedback I get from my beta readers.  You all will have access to a sample of the first pages soon.  When that happens, I will make the announcement.  I’ll celebrate and give myself a high five and sip a little Glenmorangie 10 yr single malt to commemorate the achievement.  It’ll be a good day.

Another goal I will be setting is to continue to bring you all new blog posts.  I have a vague idea of what I want this blog to be if not just the medium for which I can talk with all of you.

For my plans, I am thinking of not only keeping strong with the rest of the Ravanguard series since that is a constant but I’d like to work on some other projects when I need a break.  I have a stand alone fantasy novel I’ve worked on and would like to probably provide some sample material for that to all of you as well.  Maybe just to get some feedback.  I have an idea of how I want to do that but I’ll wait and see.

Aha!  Another goal I just thought of.  I am on goodreads and love that site.  I set a reading goal for myself last year to read 25 books.  I surpassed that quickly because I read about 3-4 books at a time.  I like to give myself options and not be bogged down by one book (I know the arguments against that approach and we’ll thumb wrestle over who’s sillier to think one way is better than the other).  I read two physical books and listen to two audiobooks at a time.  My method of madness (Oh, band name!).  So, my new goal for the year is to do 50 books this year.  And good for all of you, I will be sharing my thoughts of each book finished here!  What I’d also like to do, is get book recommendations from all of you too.  I’ve tried hard to add books that are not fantasy to my queue but struggle finding good ones so I invite you all to help me out in that regard.

Let’s see…  I can’t think of any other goals or plans to share so I’ll leave it at that for now and sign off.  You all are amazing!  Thanks for starting this journey with me and make sure to leave comments and follow me on Twitter at @adamhenderson49

Call to Action: What’s the last book you read and hated?