Good Emotional Health

posted in: Life | 2

I watch and observe more than I react and speak.  As a writer in the social network culture, this is probably the antithesis to many others.  In fact, I think it is true.  I follow a lot of other writers on social media and I often get a clear idea of where they stand on a number of issues.  I don’t fault them whether I agree or disagree.  It’s their platform and their voice.  I hate the “stick to (fill in the blank)” attacks people get from detractors.  It’s kind of a juvenile response if you think about it.

For myself, I try to keep any views I have on specific issues regarding religion, politics, social issues, etc. off of my social media timeline.  This is just a personal choice.  I believe those things should be discussed in a safe place setting where both parties can respectfully engage in productive conversation.  If we know anything about the current climate of social media, those conditions do not exist.

I have delved into some of these topics here on my blog where you can read my thoughts and struggles as I try to understand and come to a rational place that best fits my experience and convictions.  There are some areas where I stand firm and others where I am not quite sure.

Something I know I need to be always aware of is my emotional state.  I’s so easy to get angry and react when coming across something that I think is unjust or a horrifying display of humanity.  You could ask my wife (she gets to hear the unprocessed sputterings when I’m annoyed or ticked off at the world).  These are not everyday occurrences but they do happen.

Emotional health is key and very important to me.  I hate being reactionary based on my feelings when disturbed by others.  Too often I see people speaking and arguing based on their feelings.  I would suggest not engaging these people in the first place (especially on social media).  They cannot be rationalized with.  When our emotions are turned up to eleven, you’ll have better luck convincing a dog it’s a cat.

Also, I just believe you are generally more approachable in life if you are known as someone who has a grip on your emotions.  I would never want my family or friends to tiptoe around or avoid me if they feel like they can’t talk to me about the harder topics of life for fear of me popping a gasket.

So if you don’t see me addressing hot social topics on any of my social media profiles, it’s not because I don’t have opinions or concerns, it’s because I don’t think that’s the platform to have honest, safe discourse.  I can always be private messaged and you’ll get an honest, direct response if you want to know what I think or where I stand on something.

Call to Action: Let’s all practice emotional health.  Slow to react and not letting our feelings drive us to speak in anger.  Remember also that your opinions are your own.  If someone disagrees with you, it doesn’t mean they’re the enemy.  Common decency is something I’d love to see returned to our rhetoric and discourse.

Strong at Five

posted in: Life | 2

Today’s a treat.  My wife and I have been married five years today and I couldn’t be happier to call her my best friend and super awesome spouse (I’m having the t-shirt made #copyright).  I’m all about honoring other people when I can (and I hope to do so in future blog posts but she get’s first dibs).

My wife and I met back in 2010 (I have this nagging feeling that I’m getting that date wrong…she’ll correct me in the comments, I’m sure).  I was her youngest brother’s drum teacher and she was a soon to be graduate of high school.  Friendship materialized and then we had the DTR (define the relationship) talk.  Suffice to say, the feelings were mutual and we embarked on the beginnings of what is now a wonderful marriage.

These five years have not been easy and at times difficult.  I won’t divulge the more personal details (do you really care or just nosey?) but here’s a highlight of what will test newlyweds.  I lost my job a few months into our marriage and while she had a full time job and we did receive unemployment benefits, this was not easy, especially for me as I felt the timing could not have been worse.  However, we never struggled financially.  We were able to pay our bills and we never had to ask our parents for help financially.  That’s not to say generosity took the form of dinner invitations several times a week but I like to chalk that up to our parents simply wanting to see us now that we were out of our respective houses.

This experience though never materialized to anger, fighting, or fear on our parts.  We trusted God to open doorways and He did after six months where I was able to get an amazing job that has led to where I’m at now.  Other hardships have come by way of our learning to live with each other and having to make decisions in areas where our lives would be affected both short term and in the long run.  We’ve stuck together.  No matter the circumstance.  We’ve both made mistakes, displayed selfishness and failed at communicating.  However, there’s always been trust and honor between us.  She sees my faults and calls me out and I do the same for her and we know and are thankful that we compliment each other in this way.

I always feel that I am learning since I’ve been with her.  I learn about myself, about her, and how to navigate through any given situation.  We laugh, cry, love, tease, and live well together (there’s your Hallmark card!).

I’d like to say Happy Anniversary to my wonderful wife, Leesie, who is my best friend.  I love your guts!

Call to Action: This one is for myself.  She will be gone this weekend spending time with friends, so I am going to clean the apartment and get that spare room cleared out.  I’ve never moved a futon by myself.  Should be fun!