You knew more of this was coming.
Hope you enjoyed these as much as I did. To father’s everywhere, I will soon be one of you, Huzzah!
You knew more of this was coming.
Hope you enjoyed these as much as I did. To father’s everywhere, I will soon be one of you, Huzzah!
Sometimes I run into a wall and struggle to write. I don’t think it’s writer’s block. Instead, it’s a lack of inspiration or desire to write. This is not the first time and it won’t be the last. For whatever the reason (one day, I’ll figure out the cause and give it a good kickin’) I look at the page whether it’s blank or full and just say, “Meh…”.
Now, I’ve come across other writers on social media who describe this similar phenomena. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one and there are quotes upon quotes of encouraging words out there to lend a helping hand to writers struggling to do what they love. Sometimes these words help me but sometimes they leave me unmoved.
I don’t know if there’s any sure way to push through the funk, but I’ve found that I personally need to let it run its course. The moment of inspiration will come and I’ll feel propelled, set afire to get to typing. Until then, though, I’ve learned to simply let myself be okay with not being the typing terror (worst super villain name ever) that I’ve been the last few months. The mind and creative muscles need a break and I think it’s healthy to allow a little reprieve now and again.
This does affect my editing plans a bit but blogging helps me micro-stretch my writing muscles. I’m reading and listening to music and podcasts in the meantime, hoping inspiration will come. I also wonder if my mind is preoccupied with other things (a mere seven weeks away from our new roommates arrival!). The goal remains the same for the year but I’m not one to think I need to lay down strict red lines (aka deadlines) to meet those goals. Sure, sooner rather than later is important but I also need to be aware of my need to take breaks and rest in the writing process.
Call to Action: Don’t forget to do your taxes (bet you didn’t expect that one!).
Yes, it’s February and I’m “behind”. I need to be better about not saying I want to have X finished or done by X. It doesn’t seem to work for me and I feel like a fool afterwards. I should simply state my goals without dates attached.
I am still working on my book and finishing up the final polishes while preparing my list of agents to query. Everything is moving forward on that front and I’m still going through the “read out loud” stage of the book but it’s a slower process than I realized (shocker, I know).
Other than all that, I was a bit busy towards the end of the month helping relocate my grandparents from my hometown to Vegas. This was not emotional at the time (I had the mindset of it needing to be done and I wanted to help my parents out as much as I could, which called for me to go to Vegas). Now, it is a bit more emotional as I look at their house (the only one I’ve ever known) stripped of everything that was them. All the furniture, wall décor, etc. I might need to do a separate blog post about my relationship with my grandparents. That one will be even more emotional and would require some personal details (no promises, but maybe).
The move went smooth but it also meant my wife and I were not able to work on the apartment purge and preparation we’ve been working on for the baby. Speaking of the baby, we are two months away! Whoa… How?
Have I mentioned yet that getting everything you need for a baby is a daunting task for first time parents? All you parents out there are nodding and saying, “Just you wait.” I get it! Well, we are having a heck of a time with this but I trust in our ability to prepare. My wife is an amazing researcher and very good at finding the best quality (seriously, why would you not want to find, get, and hope for the best for your kids?). I admit, I’m not the best when it comes to researching for products. I look at consumer reports and I get a headache pretty quickly. But I’m baby stepping (pun!) through this process.
The baby shower is also fast approaching, which will be fun. Then my sister will be coming into town at the end of the month and that’s always a good time. The obligatory Nacho Libre quote comes to mind: “My life is good. Real good.”
Call to Action: While in Vegas, I found the time to watch Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. It’s up for Best Picture and seems to be a frontrunner for the award. It’s a rough movie at times but very well done. Beautiful and graphic. I get why it’s getting praise and recognition. I would not put it in my Top Ten of 2017 Movies list but I will say it was an amazing film with powerful performances.
I’ve been a fan of sports ever since I can remember. I have vivid memories of watching Michael Jordan and the Bulls winning the NBA Championship in 1993, the 49ers (my favorite football team) winning the Super Bowl in 1995, and the Atlanta Braves winning the World Series in 1995. I’ve followed all the major sports at one point or another in my life and depending on the decade, have a ridiculous amount of sports trivia logged away in my brain where math and science should be stored.
I watched the Super Bowl this last Sunday and found myself feeling okay with the outcome either way. This was mostly because neither team is the 49ers so I’m not invested. The game was exciting and I enjoyed the commercials (more funny and apolitical make for better ads in my opinion). I drank 805 and had some very tasty chili a friend of mine made (I’ll happily mention she requested my own chili recipes for guidance). What’s better than that?
I haven’t talked much about sports on my blog, focusing mostly on writing and storytelling but I want to branch out more this year. I’m fairly certain those of you who come to read my blog posts won’t mind if I stray into other topics. As I’ve said before, to know me is to read me. I don’t think you can know me unless you understand sports have a special place in my heart. I played basketball in a city league and in school most of my life and while basketball was my preferred sport, I have strayed more to football and baseball in recent years.
I love talking sports with others. I take pride in my ability to understand the rules, history, and cultural impact sports have in our lives. I’ve often joked that there is nothing more divisive in the world than religion, politics, and sports. You know them. Those people who are such die-hard fans that they ooze fandom, secreting love for their team and vitriol for every other team.
I admit, I was one of these fans a few years back when the 49ers became very prevalent and had a great team again. I have apologized to my wife since then because I was quite the turd if my team lost and far too emotionally invested in their success. After a few bad years recently, I’ve realized my unhealthy fandom and hopefully righted the ship. That is until they’re good again…and they might be this next season (Jimmy GQ!).
What I find so interesting is how sports shape us. As children, the game is fun and we learn how to be team players (hopefully). We get to run around outside and compete and learn some valuable social skills in the process. In adulthood, many of us realize we will probably not play professionally and we live vicariously through our favorite players and/or teams. For me, sports can serve as more than entertainment and I hope to teach my kids that once they’re old enough to make a decision to play sports or not. Until then, I
Call to Action: Those fricking Tide ads won the Super Bowl. Watch and enjoy one of my favorites!
As my wife and I prepare for the baby (April is fast approaching!), much of our preparation is making space. We’ve lived in our apartment our entire marriage and that’s years of acquiring stuff. However, as would be expected, a purge is needed.
I admit, I’m not the best at de-cluttering. Much of that comes from my dad who is the same way. We have similar mindsets of “I don’t need this now but I may need it in the future”. Not an excuse for our behavior but just a way of thinking that not everyone else has (my wife being one of them). I’m thankful my wife is not like me in this way because we’d have a heck of time getting rid of stuff.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this though. Much of my behavior comes from being a collector. I’ve collected sports cards since I was probably seven years old. While cards have been my most consistent item of preference, I have collected everything from comics to pogs (showing my age with that one but yes, I was a major pogs nerd). Later in life, I’ve come to add movies, records, and books into the mix. These later items however do not hold the sentimental value that cards do for me.
Bless my wife for putting up with me. The purge is happening and I know I need to make some tough decisions. I’m writing about this because I don’t know what makes me this way. I can’t figure out what pushes me in this direction. When it comes to cards, I collect what I’m most interested in. I’m not the type that goes after quantity but instead, what I will call selective quality.
I think I do it because it’s a stress reliever and maybe keeps me from boredom. Now, I don’t think this necessarily always a good thing because I can easily waste my day away searching online, organizing, cataloguing, etc. my collections. Since I’ve been married, I’ve had to make conscious adjustments to how I spend my time and sometimes that’s been easy while other times, it has been a little less easy. I know and I’ve been telling myself for months now that I need to make more conscious effort and prepare myself when the baby is here because he will require a lot of my attention.
If I were a more selfish person, I might fight this but if marriage has taught me anything, it’s that it’s not all about me. So, maybe my five plus years of marriage have actually been preparing me for this aspect of parenthood more than I ever realized. My collecting habits won’t likely stop but I will adapt.
Call to Action: Check out the show Godless on Netflix when you get a chance. I’m a few episodes in and it’s very good. Well-written and acted by all accounts and for some reason I love gritty westerns.
Is disappointment inevitable? I definitely think so but I’ve decided that I don’t want to live as if it is soul crushing when it happens. Relationships, finances, career, society, etc. All of these can cause disappointment in our lives. A lot of times, it’s based on factors you can’t control or maybe choices you’ve made unaware of the outcome. It comes and we face it.
I’m even beginning to wonder if disappointment is a reaction we’ve been “instituted” to have when life’s turns and twists take place. If it is just a reaction similar to excitement or anger, then can it controlled? If we have a choice in the matter, can we actually will ourselves to step back and not let the negative emotions that come with disappointment affect our outlook of the situation?
I don’t claim to have an answer (sorry, this is not a post with answers…just reflection). What I can offer is my own battle with this. Recent financial happenings in my life have gone in directions I did not anticipate. I admit, I got down for a moment but I also know I can either wallow in the dust or stand and press on, in hope, believing victories will come. It’s not always easy but doable. If you are person of faith, then you would put that hope in God. If not, then you would put that hope in yourself or maybe significant others in your life. Either way, you are moving forward without letting disappointment convince you there is nothing better.
Too often we witness people we know either intimately or simply as acquaintances falter under disappointment. Depending on the level, this can cripple dreams or make people look for help in various arenas. My hope would be that we all stop responding to the unexpected in a way that would blind us to the opportunity to try again or make any adjustments needed to set the course right again. For myself, I don’t want to miss the better parts of life because I convince myself something can’t be done or that I’m incapable of having an attitude and outlook that would see me above the trial.
Call to Action: Look back at a recent disappointment (I’ve got a fresh one for myself) and seriously take a moment to examine it. Write it all out as well and see if you can find the positive opportunities. Sometimes we need to dissect the twists and turns to see other possible doorways.
Okay, so I was just surfing through Pinterest and found these. I needed a good laugh and got it.
I have yet to find a way to prepare myself for the pee, poop, and puke smells I will be inundated with once the baby is here. Maybe I should go to bars…
I need this mug as a simple reminder. This is one thing that keeps my mind active every day. I pray, “Dear God, please help me keep the baby alive.”
HAHAHA! Yeah, I’m not prepared for when this starts happening.
So, I read this and lost it. My wife was watching a video that was very much on the serious side and I had to apologize and explain why I suddenly fell into a laughing fit. Try reading that and not using Liam Neeson’s voice in Taken. So hard not to!
Call to Action: Hope you all are having a great Sunday. If you can, thank your parents for somehow maintaining enough self-control and not locking you in the bathroom for an hour’s worth of peace and quiet.
I turned thirty-three almost two weeks ago and I’m beginning to notice something as I get older (no, this won’t be a gripe session about unwanted ear hair). I reminisce a lot. And I mean more than I ever have before. I’m sure this is a natural occurrence as we age but I do it especially with my long-time friends.
Recently though, I have been doing it on another level. First, some background. I grew up in a heavily Pentecostal church (with a brief stint in a non-denominational one) and was indoctrinated into the 90s church pop culture. Yes, that’s a real thing. This came with a bevy of things like no wearing hats in the sanctuary, not being allowed to listen to secular music (but we could watch secular movies), attending youth group, Sunday School, and Vacation Bible Schools in the summer, etc. You get the picture. It was a community and culture centered on religious practices of following the Bible.
Now, I am not bashing this. I can honestly say that as I’ve gotten older, I have enormous appreciation for this experience as a kid and teenager. Those long-time friends I mentioned before are ones I met at church. I’m forever grateful for these friendships for many reasons. I also have an appreciation for charity, community, music (church is what got me into playing drums and remains one of my greatest passions in life), and potlucks that I otherwise wouldn’t have.
I am thrust into the pool of reminiscing because my wife and I were recently turned onto a podcast called Good Christian Fun. This podcast explores specific topics in Christian pop culture from music to movies that I grew up very familiar with. So many of these have been like digging through my childhood. Side note: the podcast doesn’t try to push you towards or pull you away from Christianity. It simply explores the things of that time and their influence.
For the last two weeks, as I listen to these podcasts, I’ve been thinking a lot about my childhood and how I have been shaped by those church experiences. I’ll be honest, there are good and bad things. I won’t delve deeper into that right now (maybe in the future but no promises) but it does have my wife and I exploring how we will raise our kids. You want to learn from your mistakes and even from your successes and use that when practicing parenthood.
As I reminisce, I get the profound notion that doing so will pave the way towards helping me be a better husband, father, and person in general. I have embarrassing stories up the wazoo that make me cringe to this day because I made decisions based on feelings or misgivings rather than knowledge and wisdom. As a parent, I don’t want to follow that road. Sure, there will be mistakes made along the way but I think I can avoid some by simply considering the past.
Call to Action: Seriously, if you grew up in the church bubble in the late 80s, early 90s (I mean the days of DC Talk, Michael W. Smith, Left Behind, etc.), then you should check out the Good Christian Podcast. You’ll laugh and shake your head many a times as you hear the references.
What will happen in 2018? I know I can’t be the only person to ask this question as we enter another new year (yeesh, as I get older, I lose the enthralling alacrity of what that means). Obviously, my hope and prayers are that we suffer no losses, come ahead in our bank account statements, come out even or ahead in taxes, etc. On a grander level, I’d sure love to see some social media climate change. The vitriol every day definitely got old and I fear for the sanity of anyone who took delight in seeing the onslaught of drama and pettiness exhibited through social media streams every day. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking and I should aim lower. How about Deadpool 2 being better than the first? Oh, and I’d love it if Avengers: Infinity War doesn’t take a nap. I’ll set my expectations low.
Personally, I’d like to be kinder and gain some patience. Come April, our baby boy will teach me a lot about myself. I told my wife the other day that I want to make sure we not only prepare ourselves for his arrival and addition to our lives but also make sure we get rest, find time to relax and read (very important for new parents, I think), and be intentional about having time together. I have this sense that as new parents, we will need to make necessary adjustments (an obvious statement) but also make sure we don’t burn out and let our emotions beat us down or each other for that matter. And don’t tell me, “Oh just you wait, you’ll be crap-deep in diapers, crying, and baby puke” as if that’s all it is. I kind of refuse to settle for that kind of attitude. Our baby will not be a burden but a joy! (If I’m wrong, you can take it to the bank that I won’t come back here and admit it to all of you.)
We went through a lot of changes and shifts in 2017 (still talking about myself and my wife. No political commentary here). Job changes, pregnancy, financial decisions, etc. I think we needed to make those choices last year in preparation for this year, which I foresee to be more stable. There will be surprises (some good and some bad) and we will have to be ready and act as everyone must in order to keep the unexpected from keeping you on the ground. What I want, though, is to learn and grow in each moment.
To gain wisdom is what I want most in 2018. As a husband, father, brother, son, professional, writer, musician, and however else I might describe myself, I want to come away, and exhale accomplishment. Maybe I’ll do that by the end of 2018 here on the blog. In fact, here we go, on 27 December 2018, my blog post will be a look back on the year, but also an inspection of this first post of the year. We’ll see if I accomplished what I wanted to succeed in. Wisdom is what I’ll be chasing in 2018.
Call to Action: What would you like to see in 2018? Doesn’t have to be a personal goal but let me know what you’d like to see or experience.
Crazy. That’s my best-word choice and thinking when I consider the last year. I took to starting a website and blog with the idea that I wanted to write more and establish a platform as a writer. I had some ideas and believed I could begin to have a voice in a world full of voices. After a year, I think I made a dent but not a full impact.
While the website could use an update (I’m in the process of looking at my options), the blog has been the bigger surprise. I started by writing about writing, especially my own thoughts and experiences with the craft. Looking back, this was a much needed release because I had things I wanted to say but did not have an outlet. The blog gave me that and now I feel ready to go beyond those topics.
I like themes and scheduled topics. Sunday Levity, On This Day, and Flash Fiction posts allowed me to do this and those have been extremely fun and rewarding. Each will continue moving forward and more than likely be a staple of my blog. The posts in between will likely change and shift focus. I loved being able to do my Stranger Things Season 1 Review and Rewatch in October. With Season 3 green lit, you can expect the same treatment for Season 2. There will be less in terms of “writing” posts but you’ll continue to get my thoughts from a writing perspective as I encounter new stories and even go back and explore old ones.
Outside of the blog and website, my life has taken unexpected turns. Come April, my wife and I will be arms deep in parenthood. How this will affect me as a writer, I cannot begin to know or guess but it will bring an adjustment. That baby will be priority number 1a with my wife being 1b. They will be my focus. Then I’ll have work and then writing. So right now it’s a matter of preparing and putting any notion of selfishness aside.
What I’m not worried about is the time to write. I will find it. My plan is to finish So Speaks the Gallows and find an agent remains. Those updates will be shared and even if I get rejection letters, I will share those with everyone. Obviously, my hope would be to receive a letter stating an agent would love to represent me but the more I follow other writers on social media, the more I see that rejection letters are more common than acceptance letters. Maybe 2018 will be my year of querying.
When it comes to the newsletter, I’ll stick with it and hopefully get more sign ups. It makes it easier for me to devote the time (it is time consuming) to provide more content if I know I’m reaching more people. However, I do understand if people have too many newsletters arriving in their inboxes. The more you have, the less time you have to read them all.
Other than that, I have some other personal goals I’d like to see accomplished but I read somewhere that not all goals should be made public. Apparently, that can sabotage your chances of finding success. Not sure if I believe that but I’ll keep them close to the chest for now.
I hope you all have had an amazing year!
Call to Action: The final call to action this year is to sign up for my newsletter. Seriously, why haven’t you done so yet? You get some fun book reviews and an exclusive Shoals to the Hallowed short story, which you won’t find anywhere else. There are things happening in the story you won’t know about unless you sign up. So do so.
My plan is to keep the normal schedule and format for the blog this month. The next flash fiction for the ongoing Shoals to the Hallowed series will be released on 30 December (this also happens to be my bday so I expect high praise in the comments section. If you don’t want to give that, I accept Amazon gift cards). The third and last newsletter of the year will be released on the 31st. If you want to sign up for that, please do so when prompted on the website or send me your email address and I’ll add you to the list.
For the month in general (we’re half way done already!), you’ll see a lot of Christmas themed posts. I’m a big fan of Christmas. The season (I prefer cold to hot always), movies and music (there’s just so many good options), food and drink (nothing like carbs, coffee, and whiskey to keep me comfortable), and traditions. It’s these last that I want to explore a little today.
I can only speak for myself and my heart goes out to those who don’t care for the Christmas season for whatever the reason. I understand and get it. However, I have pretty much nothing but good memories of the weeks and days leading up to Christmas. My family never did anything crazy or outlandish (far from the Griswold experience). We did the tree and lights. Maybe a few other decorations around the house. What I remember best was going to my grandparents’ house Christmas Eve to eat dinner and exchange gifts. My grandpa would read the Christmas story from the Book of Luke and we’d all go on our merry way (no pun intended). Christmas morning was getting up way too early (I was one of those kids who could not sleep no matter how late I stayed up), getting into our stockings first and waiting the appropriate amount of time before waking up my parents so we could get to the good stuff.
After we made a mess of the living room, we would eat breakfast and get ready for the day. Usually we were out the door after noon and heading to the gift exchange locations with friends and families. Dinner was usually at my grandparents’ house again with or without other family members who came in form out of town. We ate, played games, and had the 24-hour marathon of A Christmas Story playing in the background. All in all, it was an easy traditional holiday season that I have fond memories of.
Now that I’m married, my wife and I have our own traditions that we’ve put in place and hope to carry on the rest of the way. Our children will grow up with these and even have a part in adding to our family’s plans and activities from December to December. Traditions are one of those things I really enjoy and Christmas allows for them to be focused and anticipated every year.
I’ll leave you with some do’s and don’ts:
Don’t spike the eggnog
Don’t stand under icicles
Don’t sit on Santa’s lap in an alleyway
Do spike your coffee
Do bundle up if it’s snowing
Do watch Christmas Vacation with a room full of friends and strangers (if you can)
Call to Action: My hope is that you all have a great Christmas this year. Even if past ones have not been worth remembering, I hope this one is. Be with the ones you love. Make sure to let them know how much you appreciate their being a part of your life.
I watch and observe more than I react and speak. As a writer in the social network culture, this is probably the antithesis to many others. In fact, I think it is true. I follow a lot of other writers on social media and I often get a clear idea of where they stand on a number of issues. I don’t fault them whether I agree or disagree. It’s their platform and their voice. I hate the “stick to (fill in the blank)” attacks people get from detractors. It’s kind of a juvenile response if you think about it.
For myself, I try to keep any views I have on specific issues regarding religion, politics, social issues, etc. off of my social media timeline. This is just a personal choice. I believe those things should be discussed in a safe place setting where both parties can respectfully engage in productive conversation. If we know anything about the current climate of social media, those conditions do not exist.
I have delved into some of these topics here on my blog where you can read my thoughts and struggles as I try to understand and come to a rational place that best fits my experience and convictions. There are some areas where I stand firm and others where I am not quite sure.
Something I know I need to be always aware of is my emotional state. I’s so easy to get angry and react when coming across something that I think is unjust or a horrifying display of humanity. You could ask my wife (she gets to hear the unprocessed sputterings when I’m annoyed or ticked off at the world). These are not everyday occurrences but they do happen.
Emotional health is key and very important to me. I hate being reactionary based on my feelings when disturbed by others. Too often I see people speaking and arguing based on their feelings. I would suggest not engaging these people in the first place (especially on social media). They cannot be rationalized with. When our emotions are turned up to eleven, you’ll have better luck convincing a dog it’s a cat.
Also, I just believe you are generally more approachable in life if you are known as someone who has a grip on your emotions. I would never want my family or friends to tiptoe around or avoid me if they feel like they can’t talk to me about the harder topics of life for fear of me popping a gasket.
So if you don’t see me addressing hot social topics on any of my social media profiles, it’s not because I don’t have opinions or concerns, it’s because I don’t think that’s the platform to have honest, safe discourse. I can always be private messaged and you’ll get an honest, direct response if you want to know what I think or where I stand on something.
Call to Action: Let’s all practice emotional health. Slow to react and not letting our feelings drive us to speak in anger. Remember also that your opinions are your own. If someone disagrees with you, it doesn’t mean they’re the enemy. Common decency is something I’d love to see returned to our rhetoric and discourse.
Let me start by saying I don’t come from a distinct cultural background. As far as I know, my families on both sides came from European immigrants (that’s really a best guess). So I don’t have much to work with when it comes to traditions or heritage that I use to identify with. What’s interesting though is I have a continuing growing interest in different cultures.
Writing fantasy is the perfect outlet for me to be creative and create new cultures and peoples, coming up with languages, cuisine, fashion, traditions, holidays, religions, etc. All of these require some foundation of how cultures develop and evolve over generations. Some are forgotten while others are passed on from generation to generation with little change occurring. For example, language in the United States is constantly evolving through pop culture and technology. A hard drive back in 1940 is not necessarily the same thing as it is now. However, in Iceland and other countries, language has remained mostly unchanged (see https://theculturetrip.co
My interest in cultures (both fictional and real) has been bumped by Pixar and Disney’s recent push to explore times and places otherwise not touched in their expansive catalog. We have Brave and Coco (Pixar) and Frozen and Moana (Disney). I’m going to be honest here. I really enjoy all of these films (most of all Moana, which my wife likes to tease me about). Why do I like them? Because you can tell the filmmakers truly wanted to explore the cultures of these peoples and introduce them in a celebratory way. I can’t help but be drawn to this aspect of storytelling.
In my own writing and those of fantasy books I enjoy, I love how cultures (mind you made up ones) add a layer of reality to the story that pulls me in and keeps me engaged in the story. There’s beauty and intrigue to be shown. As we often see in the Pixar and Disney examples, it’s heritage and tradition that drive the protagonist to see their goal completed. A theme I often explore is identity and there’s a great focus of pride in identity when it comes to these characters and where they come from.
For a guy (myself) that feels left out when it comes to heritage and culture, I love to immerse myself in these places and peoples who have vibrant traditions founded by their ancestors. I love seeing these stories celebrated and shared with greater audiences because the diversity of the world is worth noticing.
Call to Action: It should still be in theaters, so I encourage everyone to go see Coco. It’s a great film about family and the importance of remembering those who came before us. You can’t go wrong.
Tis the season! Ho ho ho! Ah nuts!
It’s Sunday and you all know I put on the relax and rest machine. Decided to share some stuff that made me laugh and hopefully it does the same for you.
I really want to do this at work…
So many great quotes from Elf.
The Santa Claus is one of those movies that I appreciate more as an adult because the jokes land better when you’re older.
One of my favorites is Scrooged. Bill Murray at Christmas is the best.
Christmas Vacation is my favorite movie to watch and I can always watch it (though everyone else seems to be done with it and wants a longer gap between viewings. You had eleven months! You want more?!)
Call to Action: The season is all about being with loved ones and letting them know how much they mean to you. Not through gifts but through time spent. Play games, watch movies, sing carols (if that’s your thing), and enjoy it!
Maybe it’s cheesy but I have to give some thanks (and seeing as how Thanksgiving was yesterday, it seems appropriate).
This has been a year where I have no reason to feel sad, frustrated, or bitter in any way. New job, baby on the way, writing going strong. What’s there to complain about?! I am extremely thankful for this time in my life.
I am hard at work on the final newsletter of this year. Please sign up if you’re interested. I release three a year with news, book reviews, and an exclusive short story, which is set in the Shoals to the Hallowed world. Make sure to read up on the the latest flash fiction posts too to keep up to date.
Aside from that, my wife and I learned we are having a boy. I was certain we would be having a girl but I saw the ultrasound picture and there seems to be little doubt. Having a boy has made my mind begin envisioning who he will be and the greatness he will embody. He, being our first, will no doubt shape us in new ways as we learn to be parents but I cannot express how much joy and anticipation I have, knowing this little guy is going to have amazing parents, aunts and uncles, and grandparents on both sides. They will all have an immense impact on his life.
Not to mention, I can’t wait to teach him about sports, video games, history, philosophy, and the various other subjects I enjoy myself. I learned a great deal from my dad, uncles, cousins, etc. If I have any apprehension at all, it’s knowing I’ll make mistakes and have to apologize to him for my shortcomings. I can’t imagine any father wants or enjoys such occurrences but I hope that my realization of it now will prepare me when it comes.
Call to Action: I hope everyone had a great holiday and has many things they are thankful for. Make sure to share those positive thoughts with others. It does the heart good to do so.
My first exposure to Calvin and Hobbes came when I was probably around thirteen years old at my grandparent’s house. My grandpa had recently received or bought one of the collection books and had it on the living room table. I picked it up and was pulled into the world of the precocious six year old and his imaginary best friend/stuffed Bengal tiger.
Suffice to say, Calvin and Hobbes will always remind of my grandpa. I have great memories of growing up and creating outlandish scenarios with him (his imagination was just as a vast a child’s). This coincides with my love for Calvin and Hobbes because the comic strip is more about imagination than it is about a misbehaved child. Just peruse the examples I’ve included in my post.
As I mentioned back in my blog post on 03 November, for myself, success as a writer is to have my book in hardback/paperback form sold on the shelves of a bookstore. Pretty simple, right? I think so, however my wife and I recently had a discussion about success in general and then success as an artist. I cannot speak for everyone (yeesh, could you imagine that kind of nightmare if you could?) but I know for myself, I would consider it a huge accomplishment to have a book written and sold to the general public. No bestseller accolades or movie deal needed. I’m good with the one book.
Now, come on, you know I don’t mean I want to write a single book and only one. I have way too many stories floating around in my head to stop at one. The purpose of writing stories is to share them. Why else do it?
This came about because I was telling my wife how even if I did get published and was capable of writing full time and able to support us financially through those means, I would still work my day job. More than anything, it’s a personal decision (also, I think I would get super bored otherwise. I need to leave the house for a day’s worth of work in order to keep myself sane). I do not fault anyone who chooses the opposite. My hope would be you are able to fully support yourself, your family (if you have one), and maintain a level of content and happiness that lets you sleep easy every night.
Part of our conversation led into the idea that our culture does not adhere to a way of thinking that encourages artists to do what they love to do and survive by doing only that. I asked her if our society ever did this? Without doing research (I just don’t want to right now due to the rabbit hole I’d most likely fall into), I find it hard to believe that a writer, painter, sculptor, etc. could pay all the bills and plan for the future and retirement just by royalties earned from their works (notice how I didn’t mention actors or musicians. They’re a bit different). If I’m wrong, please shoot me an example. I’d love to read up on examples.
This is all not to say there were outliers but I just wonder if success comes in the form of finding time to be creative and still provide by keeping a day job. Like I said, this is just me and my mind wanders to these sorts of things every once in a while. I guess I should add a caveat and say that if I were able to live off of royalties from my books, I think I’d still work part time. Retirement is really the only stage in my life where I don’t want to go to an office every day, sit in a cube, and support a project.
If I’ve discovered anything about myself since starting this journey of writing stories, it’s that I simply love to create. Being able to do so whether I’m paid or not for it doesn’t affect my attitude in the process. And I wonder if my attitude towards writing would change if I woke up everyday and knew if I didn’t make a deadline or my next book sales are poor, I might struggle to pay the bills. Would that affect my joy and passion? Just something I think about…
Call to Action: I was serious about examples of a time period where artists could survive financially solely on the earnings from their art. Let me know!
Now, I have stated in the past that I have no interest in debating or converting based on my personal views. They are “my” personal views based on my experiences, beliefs, and understanding. This also means I do not think I cannot learn more and have these views changed based on evidence and conviction. Let’s jump in the heap!
Evil is very real. In fantasy, we have great extremes manifested in forms like Sauron, Voldemort, and for you Wheel of Time fans, the Dark One. All of these represent the deepest of antagonists to our literary heroes: Frodo, Harry Potter, and Rand al’Thor (again, Wheel of Time reference. I am purposely avoiding the Game of Thrones example, ha!). These forces represent the main conflict and must be destroyed in order to assure peace to not only our heroes but the world they live in. This puts a lot of weight on the story and we as readers only want to see the evils defeated by the end.
A common element in fantasy right now is the use of grey characters who have both vice and virtues equally. These are men and women we can both trust and revile depending on the situation. Part of me enjoys these characters because I think they are complex and better represent real life people. No one can say they are completely good, having no drop of selfishness, anger, hate, etc. And while these kinds of characters can be fresh and enjoyable to read due to their unpredictability, I personally expect to see consequences for their choices. Otherwise, we’ve run into another issue entirely. Consequences whether good or bad represent reality and realism should be woven throughout the tapestry of the story (even more so in fantasy).
Coming back to the reason I am writing this post, I do not think I should be silent on the evil seen in the last weeks of various independent acts throughout the States. Las Vegas, New York, and Sutherland, TX. I am not going to go into the details of each situation. If you’ve paid attention even a little bit, then you know the basics: men took it upon themselves to kill innocents.
My heart is broken at the moment. I take days to process the full weight of these things because I don’t find it healthy to react instantly. My heart breaks for those affected. Families and friends have lost loved ones unexpectedly and for reasons they cannot fathom as they grieve. There’s been a lot of hubbub about people offering prayers and thoughts to these people whose worlds have been turned over. I sincerely say and express these words because I sincerely believe there is power in prayer and thought directed at the healing of pain and grief. If you don’t, that’s fine. I would not hold that against you and would hope you would not hold my beliefs against me.
What we’ve witnessed is evil (plain and simple) and if we can draw anything from these recent horrifying events, it’s that no matter the method or tool used, evil will find a way to exact its violence and chaos. I’ve been asking myself what can be done to keep these things from happening but after days of contemplation I am truly not convinced legislation cannot stop it. So long as evil’s influence and madness can burn in the hearts of people, methods and tools can be improvised upon (gun, knife, vehicle, they all do damage).
For myself, at this moment in time, I come to a place where I think more than ever, we need to be vigilant about being aware of evil. How? By the signs it effuses. If you’ve ever taken any kind of Active Shooter Training for a workplace environment, then you are told what to look for. Changes in behavior are often there. Now, I know there are likely outliers (there always are) but all too often, evil and its signs can be seen and recognized. But we have to be willing to pay attention and speak up when noticed. More and more, after these horrifying acts of evil and violence, we learn after the fact that there were “red flags” and yet no one acted.
I understand that many will say this is not enough and that legislation needs to be implemented to prevent further incidents but I am not convinced of that yet. I’m not saying some legislation could not help because I think it could, but I have to posit the question: can legislation prevent evil from being enacted? No. It just can’t. Time and time again, those who wish to do others harm will do so in any which way that they can. History testifies to this. Good standing citizens, however, can and are more than capable of interceding and preventing evil if we are willing to pay attention to those within our communities.
I am demanding this of myself. It’s obvious safe places no longer exist. Churches, concerts, sidewalks. If these horrible acts of evil can teach us anything, it’s that we need to be paying attention to the world around us more. Take an interest in your family, friends, coworkers, and acquaintances. I have to hope that doing so will in some way prevent more evil from being carried out.
Call to Action: Don’t react out of emotion when these horrible acts of evil happen. I only say this because I see it every day. So many react without taking a moment to ask questions. Reach out and talk to someone you trust and work through whatever emotions have stirred up. Adding to the vitriol does nothing to propel us forward, instead setting us back.
Having completed my Stranger Things month, there’s quite a bit to share and provide updates on.
Also, it’s my wonderful, amazing wife’s birthday today! So, I wish her a happy birthday filled with rest, good food, and fun.
First off, I recently accepted an offer for a new job that will remove me from technical writing and editing. This does not mean my technical writing and editing skills will no longer be needed, rather it means I will no longer provide support solely on these grounds. My new job will allow me writing and editing opportunities but I do not think they will be as often like before. I’ve come to grips with this change and find myself at peace and satisfied. New doors will open with this position that otherwise would be blocked off from me and these new doors will be needed since my next bit of news (the best bit of news) will call for a higher salary.
My wife and I learned that she is pregnant with our first child! Baby on the way! This has rocked our world in some ways but as each week passes, we have become more and more excited at the prospect of adding a new addition to our family (that sounds so cliché but still true). With this, I realize that my life will be drastically changed. I’ve always wanted to have kids and have wondered what I would be like as a dad. I’ve proactively begun to envision circumstances and situations and prepared myself as best as I can for each, envisioning myself as a calm, cool-tempered patriarch who knows how to handle any given situation (in reality, I’m going to have those days where I just want to throw in the towel, find a bag of chips and lock myself in the bathroom for a good salty ten minutes). Alas, I am going to be a father and I’ve been trying my best to prepare myself for what that means.
I should also forewarn everyone that my blog posts will include these fatherhood anecdotes and what not. While my wife and I are fairly private, I will include things about our journey because it will likely be unconventional (we’re not the run of the mill sort and bit weird at times). I am a writer but I am also a person of questions, fears, joys, preferences, and opinions. To know all of me as a writer, is to understand the wanderings of my mind in everything.
When it comes to my writing, not a whole lot has changed. The biggest thing I want to share is I have set a goal to finish my current revision by the end of the year. I want to have it finished, polished to a shining reflection, and begin the agent querying phase in January. So I’ll have quite a bit to share over these last months of 2017 and more so in 2018. I realize that while I can bide my time and keep a consistent but comfortable pace with revising So Speaks the Gallows, I need to put a note on the calendar and make that a reasonable and attainable goal.
I saw a tweet a few weeks ago asking writers what they consider to be their ideal success as a writer. I thought about it and came to the truth. I do not care if I ever become a bestselling author (I won’t turn away the accolade either, I should add). Success in my mind, the fulfillment of my heart, looks like this: to have my book in hardback/paperback form sold on the shelves of a bookstore.
That’s it. If I can do that just once, I will have met my dream as a writer. I have a sneaking suspicion that I will meet this goal more than once (multiple books) but at the very least, to hold my book in my hand is my measure of success.
Call to Action: I wanted to leave a break between Stranger Things here on my blog and in my mind (LOL) so I think two posts is good enough. Make sure to watch season 2 and watch for the next blog post where I breakdown the new season and give my overall impressions and thoughts. (Don’t worry, there will not be any spoilers.)
There’s a huge difference between sympathy and empathy. Feeling sorry for others is (in my opinion) the lesser of the emotional responses. But to be put in the place of another’s tragedy, pain, or loss progresses the human connection. To empathize with others is to embrace what they are experiencing, to understand their position. Why is this better? Because to empathize is to be human. Again, just my opinion.
I want to approach this with sensitivity. I originally wanted to write about empathizing with characters and how that allows for a greater reading experience. I could still write towards that end and believe it wholly important for a writer to understand and write with conviction. However, in light of the recent hurricane tragedies, I’m being led down a different path.
I’m going to be completely honest with all of you. I struggle with empathy. On a personal level, I really do have a difficult time putting myself in the shoes of others who are or have suffered. This is not to say my heart goes out to those in pain and suffering; I do in fact have a heart. I just mean I don’t easily put myself in the shoes of others. I don’t know why this is but it is something I’ve been aware of and trying to process through as I get older. I should add that this is not just difficulty empathizing with strangers but even with family and friends! My apologies to any if I’ve ever seemed unaffected by your loss and/or pain. I promise I’m not some stone-hearted, cold-souled jerk. I’m not (I can be a bit of a jerk at times but that’s due to my sarcastic nature). The important thing is I’m conscious of this vice in my life and working towards correcting it.
I have to ask why I struggle to empathize and really dig deep. Is it because I’ve never experienced loss or pain? I’d argue that’s not true. I’ve had family members pass, lost friends, gone through difficult emotional trials, etc. I’m not immune to those natural occurrences while going through life. None of us truly are unless you live alone, devoid of human contact, which is unlikely.
I think I struggle with empathy because I don’t jump into the pool right away. My wife can attest to this best but I need time to process things. I am not reactionary. Things come at me and I step back, weighing the toll and consequence. I would argue this is emotional maturity, however, if I deny myself immediate empathy, then do I risk denying human connection and relationships with others?
We want to feel loved. To love and be loved back is the greatest human experience. But with the good comes the bad and sometimes difficult things that cannot be planned for. My journey in life is about people. I’ve always known that. As a writer, I need people. I need to understand them and know what makes them who they are. It’s essential.
I don’t write any this to say I do not empathize with those in need of help. My heart goes out to them and I pray daily that they receive whatever they need. I’ve watched plenty of recovery coverage and it actually stirs my heart to see people helping each other. There’s no question of race, sexual orientation, religious beliefs, etc. It’s a matter of helping because they can.
If I were closer to those affected by the hurricane, I’d like to think I would be there, helping wherever I can. I went with the youth group I was helping with to Galveston, TX, after Hurricane Ike struck years ago. We spent more than a week helping where we could, joining with another church ministry. It was a great experience for me. It taught me to be selfless and compassionate to those affected by tragedy. While I struggle to empathize, I do not struggle with compassion. My heart aches and I pray and hope that those in need find joy restored and pain healed. My prayers are that the country will come together and provide and give ceaselessly to see those who lost their homes find restoration to what was lost. To see the hungry fed and families reunited.
Little can be done by writing a blog. I understand that but my hope is people will find it in their hearts to help wherever and however they can. To do so showcases the true heights of humanity. Our ability to put others before ourselves should restore hope. We’ve done it as humans on more occasions than can be recorded and remembered. It’s in us to prevail.
Call to Action: Donate wherever and however you can. Look online for charities if you can’t physically go and help those affected by the hurricanes. Simple.
While unfortunate, I think I need to be okay with getting little writing done while on vacation. I’m sure other writers have different methods and can get work done but I think for myself, the pressure to try to write/revise even an hour a day is a little too stringent. I’m around family and we like to get out of the house and go see the area and not be cooped up. So, I’ve decided I need to make different goals while on vacation. If I can write, I will but if I can’t, I won’t let myself be disappointed.
Instead, I think getting a lot of reading done is more feasible. I love setting a reading goal for the year through Goodreads. It helps me track, search, review, etc. books easily. No muss no fuss (what even is muss?). I finished one book on the drive to Colorado and had another ready. My hope is to get this other book, Ready Player One by Ernest Cline, finished by the time I get home Sunday (while you’re reading this, I’m probably getting close!).
Side note: Ready Player One is almost the perfect book to read before I start my re-watch and review of Stranger Things Season 1. For those who did not receive the latest newsletter, I announced that I would be re-watching Stranger Things in preparation for the release of Season 2 on October 27.
The purpose of vacation is to get away and relax. I’m not sure how many people are able to do this and actually relax but I have thoroughly enjoyed my time in Colorado. I did a lot and definitely feel as if I didn’t sit on my butt (which I have done on other vacations unfortunately) the whole time. So, I hope to return home and to work refreshed and ready to get back in the grind of life. Hope you all have had a great week wherever you’re at. Talk to you soon!
Call to Action: If you get the chance, watch the following movies: Logan Lucky and The Big Sick. The latter might not be your cup o’ tea but both were fun watches with great writing and characters. My wife and I watched both while here and enjoyed them a great deal.
As I said in the previous blog post, my wife and I are in Colorado for a much-needed vacation and escape of the 100+ degree weather of the Mojave Desert. I drove over with my dad (something I actually looked forward to) and she flew out with my mom. Should be a great time with our family who lives in the area. Particularly, I get to see my sister whom I seem to miss more and more the longer we don’t get to hang out with each other (she’s amazing and infectious to be around).
What I love about long road trips is the opportunity I get to read. My plan is to read the bestseller and soon to be movie blockbuster “Ready Player One”. I’ve had this book on my radar for a while now and after seeing the trailer for the film, I want to dive into the book’s pages. Expect some thoughts and impressions to come soon since I plan on getting through it during the vacation.
While we are here in Colorado, I fully expect to get some rest, eat good food, drink great beer, and go on several hikes (there will be some writing sprinkled into the mix as well). It will be amazing. I’ve tried to take pictures and share on Instagram and Twitter. Follow me on either if you want to see the fun!
Also, I got to see my favorite baseball team, the San Francisco Giants play the Rockies on Monday! They didn’t win but it was still great to see my team play.
As announced in the newsletter, my Stranger Things project (re-watch, review, and prep for season 2) is underway. I’ll be prepping and putting all that together this month as well. Look for a explanation/preparatory blog post on September 27th for the details and schedule.
Call to Action: Feel free to send me some feedback on the newsletter if you got it. I’m always curious to read what people think, liked, disliked, etc. If you signed up for it but didn’t receive the newsletter on August 31st, please let me know and I’ll shoot your way. Thanks!
That kind of leads me to ask myself now, “When will I act and speak?” To be honest, I have no idea. I don’t think I’m completely finished processing. I’ll let you all know once I do though. That should make for a heck of a blog post.
I’ve shared a lot on writing and my writing process, history, inspirations, etc. I kind of feel like I’ve laid the foundation. I haven’t covered everything but I have written dozens of blog posts focused on writing. I think I need and want to veer to the middle for awhile (maybe for the foreseeable future) and write about other things. What exactly? No clue but it will be written about.
I’ve tried to thread my personality into the previous blog posts and sometimes I’ve done so well and other times, it feels like I went through the motions. To know me is to get a full wash of my absurd thoughts and takes on whatever the heck I’m processing through (my wife knows this very well).
I never wanted to blog just to be that guy who carries around business cards with website and blog info on it. I knew if I fell into that trough of douchery, I would put out more swill and slop than worthy content. I wanted to blog to simply create a platform for my writing, which I’ve done and continue to improve upon. I’ve kept away from looking up the analytics of my website because I don’t want to care or be moved by the numbers. People who come to read the blog should not be expected to prop up my ego. I’m not in it for that.
From the beginning, I stated that I would evolve as a writer through this blogging process and I still believe that. I think I’m transitioning to a place where I can enjoy and have fun with the blog. That’s the point. Writing should never be a job or “have to” for me. Once it does, I’ve sacrificed it to the gods of mundane and stupor. Don’t expect that any time soon.
Call to Action: Just a few more days to sign up for the newsletter! Make sure to do so for the Shoals to the Hallowed short story, “The Queen’s Gamble”. Here’s a link to go back and read all the flash fiction stories and get caught up: http://adamhenderson.net/category/shoals-to-the-hallowed/
Shouldn’t take more than a few minutes. Thanks and happy reading!
NOTE: In light of the events in Charlottesville today, I wanted to say I wrote this blog post weeks ago. I want to make sure that none of the language used in the my writing could be mistaken for today’s events. I will speak to the events here and say I am appalled at the racist hate displayed and in no way condone it. I also am surprised by some of the responses on social media as well. To think such things do not exist shows a lack of paying attention to the space in which our country has assembled. I am not surprised and do not condone such actions but also am not scared or worried because a small number of hateful people decide to rally. The small number of participants should remind us all that there are far more who do not stand with the hateful. Those of us who choose to love our fellow men no matter color, culture, political side, and/or religious beliefs far outnumber the few who embrace hate in their hearts.
As strange as it is and this being my blog, everything stated is my own opinion and based on my experiences, convictions, beliefs, and research into various topics. I know, you read that first sentence and think, “Oh boy, where’s this going?” I try to keep this blog grounded in writing and whatever influences I have in my journey.
However, I have noticed something in recent months that has me somewhat concerned but not apprehensive in my pursuit for traditional publishing. Just some thoughts I’ve been wanting to share.
Twitter is quite the social media tool/outlet to connect with all kinds of people from all kinds of walks of life. I’ve been able to follow, interact, and have discussions with unpublished and published authors, editors, agents, and others in the book industry. This has been a fun experience for me and allows me to ask questions, find resources, and even form acquaintance-like relationships.
In spite of all this, though, I also come up against some things that flash warning signs. Now, I’m approaching this carefully because I don’t want to offend or stir anything. If this blog post leads to anything, I hope its respectful dialogue. I have no interest in debating or converting for any purpose. I want to share some concerns.
If you are unaware (I seriously don’t know how that could be) but there are a lot of dividing lines right now in the US. Politics, religion, and even sports produce some really nasty things “said” about and to people who may not share the same views. Now, I could unfollow those who have these different views from me but I honestly like to read what people are saying so I understand where they’re coming from.
My chief concern though when it comes to the writing industry is will I be ignored or attacked if I don’t share the same views so openly expressed?
I do not get political or even religious on social media. I follow many people who I share different views than and read things every day I do not agree with. However, I have and hold to a position that I cannot manage anyone but myself. It’s not easy but it’s a great discipline to have. Others are very open about their anger and sometimes hate of other people and this makes me wonder if I will be “denied” opportunities if I disagree with those who hold the keys. I think it’s a legitimate concern for me to have but at the same time I trust that my writing and storytelling abilities will supersede any disagreements.
If I could offer any kind of advice (totally up to you if you want to follow it or not; you won’t offend me if you don’t or call me a name), it would be that I think people need to be careful of vitriol espoused on social media. Not because you’ll offend someone but because people like me will wonder, “Can I have any kind of relationship with this person if they find out I don’t share the same views as them?”
The writing community is a unique place in that there’s usually a lot of support and few “rivalries”. When writers announce their successes, I see way more support and congratulations than the opposite. There may be jealousy but that drives a lot of writers to believe they can be the next one to sign that book deal contract.
However, and I’ve seen this a lot in recent weeks, there are writers and agents that are extremely hostile and sometimes plain disgusting with what they say in response to something outside of writing that they are upset over. I get it. There are things that drive me up the wall and boil my blood as well but I don’t think it’s worth my time or effort to say anything on a social platform (part of me doesn’t think anyone cares anyway).
Obviously, I am not saying this sort of behavior should be stopped. Far from it actually. Speak and be heard but I know there are consequences for saying things. For me, I never want to jeopardize future relationships because of a quick response born out of anger or offense. As I stated before, I can only manage myself and I want to always be mindful of how my words affect not only others but myself in the grand scheme of things.
Call to Action: Now I don’t know if my concerns are legitimate or not but I’ll probably share stories once I get deeper into the agent/publishing levels. Until then, sign up for the newsletter! (Yes, you’ll see this push throughout the month.)
Just as I did for Mother’s Day, I’m going to give equal love to the guy who is my dad. He’s amazing and we are very much opposites. He’s analytical and I’m not. He’s got dad jokes up the wazoo and I’ve got biting sarcasm that got me in all sorts of trouble as a kid. He likes all the Transformers movies and I’m more ambivalent about them.
Where we are alike is in our creative minds. He’s an inventor at heart, always thinking of ways to expand technology in the world. I can’t go into details but I’m pretty sure he could create a teleportation device. He has a wealth of knowledge that I continue to draw from to this day. Rather than telling me to go look it up on the internet (which is my default all too often), he will do his best to show me and teach me.
I’ve learned a great deal about the sacrifices a father makes for his wife and children through my dad. He didn’t do everything right along the way but he’s made a substantial effort in keeping relationship with my sister and I as well as adopting our respective spouses, going out of his way to make them feel part of the family. His example helps me to look forward to when I’m a dad myself. He’s awesome and amazing in his own right and he should be proud to be my dad.
I took the Memorial Day weekend as an opportunity to conduct a little experiment. Since I started this blog and launched my website, I knew I needed to up my game and produce content. I knew I needed to have more of a presence on social media (Twitter primarily because of its format, features, and links to other writers). What I didn’t know though was the amount of time this required of me.
I’ve done enough research to understand how marketing myself as a writer on the interwebz is important as I pursue my dream of publishing my stories. The blog was a great opportunity for me to write and share. The benefits have been great (I’ve already shared that to some extent and won’t regurgitate it at the moment). I’ve tweeted and interacted with other writers as opportunities allowed. Overall, the experience has been good but… To put it bluntly, I’ve run into a bit of a wall.
Let me explain (No, there is too much. Let me sum up). Being that active on Twitter has been time consuming. I got into a habit where I always had a tab open to Twitter and would continually keep an eye on my feed. I wouldn’t tweet something every hour on the hour but I tried to so throughout the day because all the research I did told me I had to be a continuous presence in addition to adding content. Other than tweeting, my blog posts every other day have been the majority of my content.
A little vulnerability I’d like to share with everyone: it has been a bit a let down but only because I think my expectations were too high. I get way more spam comments (all of these I have to go through and mark as spam behind the scenes of my website) and I see no real evidence that I am gaining consistent followers. This could be for a number of reasons (everyone’s got a blog nowadays, especially writers, so I get that there are a lot of options) and the one I keep coming back to is I’m still at the beginning stages of this season of being “present”.
This is not to say I do not appreciate the comments I do receive from real people. I love being able to read them and respond. If I don’t respond, I apologize. I am trying to be better about it.
Even on Twitter, I’ve come to this hovering number of followers and wonder what I’m doing wrong. Am I tweeting the wrong things? Am I hash tagging wrong? Am I focusing too much on writing and not other interests I have? If I tweeted more about sports, music, food, etc. would I risk losing the followers I do have? These are questions I continually wrestle with and have yet to find an answer.
Please don’t take this blog post as a rant or complaint. It’s not. I’m processing my actions and the steps I’ve taken over the last five months of going all in. I trust that I am very much in the early stages of this leg of the race and need to merely slow to a steady pace whereas I was sprinting and have started to hit the wall (I carbo-loaded on the Twitters).
In my mind, the experiment during the last holiday weekend was to see what it “felt” like to unplug. I decided to step away and not have my laptop in front of me with a Twitter tab open the entire three days. It was difficult at first because there’s this odd sense that I will miss something by not staying connected. But then, I have to ask myself, why do I feel the need to stay connected at that level? It was ultimately draining and I suffered from something I truly don’t want to fall under the pressure of and that’s always being connected through social media. I can easily let my posting habits become more organic than forcing myself and putting myself on a strict schedule.
If not, then I will burn myself out. I’ve done so in other areas and through different seasons. Trying to constantly put out content and interact through social media is too much for me. I have so many other interests and priorities that I don’t want to let slip away. These “others” are what fuel me and give me joy. Constantly tweeting and trying to come up with content that would attract readers and followers is exhausting and it’s not how I want to live my life. What I want is to write and share the stories I have in me with the world. Writers have done that for centuries before we ever got to this place of instant-connectivity.
This is not to say technology and our current culture of content intake is bad but I think I need to take a step back and refocus. I can do both but I cannot sacrifice my relationships, writing, and interests for the sake of building my brand when I’m not quite there. At least not at the rate I have been trying to. It’s too much weight and I’ve been putting it all on my shoulders. I think once I have “Dim the Veil” ready for release or leading up to the release, I need to step back.
Call to Action: No, I’m not going to encourage you to step away from your devices today, lol. We get that from all over now. While I do think it’s healthy, I want to encourage everyone to simply consider what they’re putting out there. What’s your involvement? What content are you pouring out? Is it about sharing your life and being encouraging or dumping your trash for the world to see? We should strive to be better than the negative ninnies out there. Let’s be better. Let’s be uplifting, honoring others wherever they are at in their journey.
Today’s a treat. My wife and I have been married five years today and I couldn’t be happier to call her my best friend and super awesome spouse (I’m having the t-shirt made #copyright). I’m all about honoring other people when I can (and I hope to do so in future blog posts but she get’s first dibs).My wife and I met back in 2010 (I have this nagging feeling that I’m getting that date wrong…she’ll correct me in the comments, I’m sure). I was her youngest brother’s drum teacher and she was a soon to be graduate of high school. Friendship materialized and then we had the DTR (define the relationship) talk. Suffice to say, the feelings were mutual and we embarked on the beginnings of what is now a wonderful marriage. These five years have not been easy and at times difficult. I won’t divulge the more personal details (do you really care or just nosey?) but here’s a highlight of what will test newlyweds. I lost my job a few months into our marriage and while she had a full time job and we did receive unemployment benefits, this was not easy, especially for me as I felt the timing could not have been worse. However, we never struggled financially. We were able to pay our bills and we never had to ask our parents for help financially. That’s not to say generosity took the form of dinner invitations several times a week but I like to chalk that up to our parents simply wanting to see us now that we were out of our respective houses. This experience though never materialized to anger, fighting, or fear on our parts. We trusted God to open doorways and He did after six months where I was able to get an amazing job that has led to where I’m at now. Other hardships have come by way of our learning to live with each other and having to make decisions in areas where our lives would be affected both short term and in the long run. We’ve stuck together. No matter the circumstance. We’ve both made mistakes, displayed selfishness and failed at communicating. However, there’s always been trust and honor between us. She sees my faults and calls me out and I do the same for her and we know and are thankful that we compliment each other in this way. I always feel that I am learning since I’ve been with her. I learn about myself, about her, and how to navigate through any given situation. We laugh, cry, love, tease, and live well together (there’s your Hallmark card!). I’d like to say Happy Anniversary to my wonderful wife, Leesie, who is my best friend. I love your guts! Call to Action: This one is for myself. She will be gone this weekend spending time with friends, so I am going to clean the apartment and get that spare room cleared out. I’ve never moved a futon by myself. Should be fun!